In college I was engaged to a shot human who was deathly allergic to - of all things - cucumbers. When I started imagining ways of incorporating pureed cukes into dinners, I knew it was time to move on.

Said the same. Sorry for the duplicate. You just can’t not see it!

Did Donnie sign for Melania? Their signatures look... Similar. Conspiracy theories welcome.

Is she going to wear the clown nose, too? (Sorry... Not wearing my glasses and that’s what it looks like to me.)

How are Russell Simmons, Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, etc. getting exposed (bad word choice) and there hasn’t been a peep about David Geffen? I thought he was notorious.

Same. It’s just bizarre to me that he’s kept this up for almost a whole year. But, honestly, we are still screwed with Pence.

They better make it to a roller rink at somepoint in the new season...

I was beginning to finally give up on the world. This gives me some hope. Thanks!

In the director’s cut of Terminator, this is how Skynet becomes sentient.

I didn’t realize he was a little person!

Anybody remember “American Beauty”? Make believe skeezing on a teenage girl... Art! Actual skeezing on a live human boy... The pearls are clenched.

The only warging Stark being Bran.

I’m sure someone else has mentioned it father down, but why did they blow up the rv outside the gate? Drive that mofo into the building and then blow it, you dumbasses! Cause some actual damage!!

Gotta do something to get people’s minds off those horrible wax museum pictures.

That was MY first thought, too!

He’s a neck tattoo away from being a Cyrus.

I’ve like everything ive seen him in so far. Even his music is great!

This is especially timely because yesterday I tried to sneeze quietly in my cubicle, and... You can guess the rest. I have to quit my job now.

I will satisfy my thirst with a cup full of Snow butts.

I think i remember that scene from “Braveheart”.