I look at Kim Kardashian and all I can think of is Dot Matrix.

Seriously...tell that to Mars.

Extra points for being voiced by Brad Pitt.

My favorite was when the older brother told the younger 2 to create a diversion in the video store and the older of them started tossing raisins in the air, chanting, “Raisins! Raisins! They used to be grapes!” over and over.

My husband thought I was a lunatic for demanding to go to infant cpr classes when I was pregnant with our first. I knew we were having a boy, and I’d experienced a friend’s loss of her son from SIDS. Our oldest is a teenager and I still have the infant CPR instructions on the side of our fridge. Taking the classes is…

8... MONTHS...????...!!!!

Still think we’re being punk’d by David Krumholz.

Regarding “wedding industrial complex”, by the time The Knot stopped sending me emails and promo garbage, I had 2 kids and had moved.

A redheaded child given a perm the week before the first Annie movie came out in the 70's. I offer this as proof that mothers do secretly hate their daughters. My communion pictures are the worst!

I posted this to my Facebook: I hope Krumholz is getting some mileage out of this.

Are you replying to te cat thread or the Miley picture?

I wore it yesterday and a coworker took a picture...

I read that as “Donald Plump”, which is the only happy thing about this shitshow.

It’s already sold out through 2056.

And obviously, there are no mirrors because - obviously - as a redhead, she wouldn’t normally be caught dead in that marigold jumpsuit. The horror!

Seriously!!! Naomi, Cindy, Linda and Christy look healthy. The girls today don’t look healthy to me. Too thin and a little cracky.

I definitely prefer my CL jittery and kind of dirty. I miss Hole. :(

My theory: As she is of comparable age to ViagraDude, her bathtub is full of ice water because she is having a hot flash. And you know about cold water and shrinkage, so... totally works against the Viagra he just popped.

The thought of being tried by a jury of my “peers” is terrifying. Is anyone ever, really?

I am actually going to pay to see TMNT2 because he is in it.