Following you? Now who has the delusions of grandeur that someone reads Deadspin just to follow you? Now roll off your mom and get back to posting about prison violence and lookie lou porn.

Figures, you are a big porn connoisseur as well. Having seen all porn where one guy hangs around without having sex. The USA Gymnastics thread needs more of your prison rape violence fantasies. You know you’re creepy, right?

I wondered for a second why no evangelicals care that our pious Commander-in-Chief sought sexual relations outside of his sacred marriage, with a member of the adult entertainment industry no less. Then I remembered, Fox News hasn’t even hinted at this having happened. Trump is staying in the White House, working…

Look at those soft, well-lotioned little toddler hands. I bet he gets tiny little blisters from tweeting.

Yeah, I always liked the thought of time-travel like building a bridge. You start at one end and finish at the other: So, you build the start gate today, and this is the farthest point back in time you can travel.

Time travel gets exceptionally more screwy when you consider that the earth, solar system and galaxy are all moving and would not be in the same place a day ago let along years ago.

Honestly, I agree. How do you re-raise the madness of 2017, which is a re-raise of 2016?

I feel like Trump would have known that BEFORE hand and still killed them but we only find out afterwards.

Then after Trump and Ball defeat the aliens, we discover that the visitors were benevolent and were here to usher in a golden age of peace and prosperity ...

Clearly every fighter pilot has hallucinations.

There have been hundreds of reports from commercial pilots over the decades. Traffic controllers as well. And that’s just the ones that have been verified with real evidence.

Finding out aliens really exists is the only possible ending for 2017 when you actually think about it.

Actually, not how it works. Presidents are still only included in certain need to know basis. This has been called one of those instances. Look at it this way, president is a figurehead who can be replaced every 4 years. Generals and others who oversee black ops shit are lifers. It allows for plenty of deniability…

Being privy to the info isn’t the same as knowing it. Unless they provided the information on a single page as a graphic, or a short bulleted list of short sentences, the president wouldn’t be able to parse it.

You are assuming they are telling him everything and not outright lying to him.

Body cams that can be turned off by the wearer are pretty fucking pointless.

That would be the correct answer.

I mean...it has to be Spotted Dick, right?

The missing “t”s actually make me wonder whether or not something is going on here. Because I have PayPal receipts from January 2015 and they definitely have “description” spelled correctly in that same location.

Something from the British Food Depot