Fred Rogers was a musician, educator, saviour of public television, equal rights advocate, and humanitarian. He definitely does not belong in Deadspin comments.

Sounds like your issues go well beyond what you listed.

Officer: Hey while I’ve got you here, I’ve been pulling my irons to the right lately, can you just watch...

Well, on the plus side, a black man in America finally survived a traffic stop. Progress!

[witty golf reference that undercuts the fact that we’re watching a guy freefall into opiate addiction]

He blew a .00 or, as John Daly calls it, .3 under par.

Tiger Woods: [tries walking straight line, but keeps veering off to one side or the other]

What a load of crap. The tape was years old by the time it leaked, right?

Exactly. It is like you see into my soul.

I mean, we are already dealing with Trump. Now we have to deal with this, too? It’s too much.

I am generally morally opposed to jukebox musicals. A jukebox musical sequel is too much. It is an abomination; it must be stopped.

Bush’s people were as loyal as Reagan’s, and willing to fall on their swords for the man.

During the Bush administration, where there was one corrupt connection after another (the false premise of the Iraq war, Abu Ghraib, Halliburton/KBR, Enron, the doxxing of Valerie Plame, etc.) either extensively reported in the media or eventually investigated by Congress. I was always thinking, “This is it. This is…

Nutshell: Trump tries to name drop all the African Americans he knows.

“It’s not only housing. You don’t need to be a brain surgeon to handle housing. Believe me. But it doesn’t hurt, right Benzo Ben? But it’s not only housing. It’s urban and development, too. So how about it for the blacks? Thank you.”

“I don’t want to be here, but they promised me peeing prostitutes if I did this, so I’m here doing this, in the most bigly way possible. Dr. King was ok, but I’m the one who made him famous by keeping his statue in my office. Also, I won the African American vote by -88% despite the media’s false claims that I…

Me. Me, me me. I. Me. Myself, I, and also me. Most importantly, me.

Summary: “The blacks love me.”

Unintelligable word salad peppered with empty promises.

Its black history month so let me take this opportunity to talk about me and how unfair the press is and let me name check a few token well-known black folks, inner cities and scene.