None of these is crazy enough need something totally batshit crazy like:

I think for many of us (i.e., me), the World Series kept us going. Cubs and Indians battling it out for 7 games added a nice bit of happiness and levity in the dark times.

Maybe he’s hinting that soon he’ll have plenty of time to go fishing.

You should really refer to him by his proper Deadspin name- “Krapsnaps Bazingas”

You DO know how he celebrates a home run, right?

Pretty much any classic muscle car can be and has been raped by the Donk crowd.

This is the guy with the “gotta get the bread and milk” schtick that was really popular a few years ago. But I disagree- I love the prox key.

That man is a goddamned national treasure. #GrampaRossie.

If he were Prince Fielder, he would have eaten some fan’s nachos after the catch.

It’s simple: Maddon wanted to crush Cleveland’s spirit. They were just starting to get back into the game and get loud. After Chapman got that final out after replay, that was it. Game.

Us Cubs fans may be a bit insufferable lately, but at least we’re not blatantly racist. Yet another reason to beat the snot outta them.

The car version of this:

You want to see richy rich folks, go visit Inverness.

DeGeez Nutz.

So, Patricia, I Herd U Liek Mudkips.

Of course, because those of us living in the northeast are getting f*cked.

Maybe he meant she likes the Beasties...

I rate that stomp about a 4 on the Suh Scale of Stomping.

Wondering if blood is an illegal substance to be applying to the ball.