Now. Now. Now.

I say, sir, could I impose upon you for a moment to view this sexual recording of Mr. Hogan, of the Florida Hogans? I assure you, it is ever so ribald.

Writers here communicate similarly with Kyle Wagner.

Dear lord I’m hanging on for dear life. WHAT COMES AFTER THE COMMA?

Goddamn LAVAR BALL of all people out ahead of this:

We demand Deadspin take action against HighAndTight’s obvious false allegations. He blatant disrespects both the flag, the Badge, the troops and the Apple Pies.

It’s not physically possible, and yet 65% still manage to do it.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: police union spokesmen are the worst people in America.

My favorite Deadspin bit so has been your insistence on calling this show All Takes Matter. I have no idea what this show is actually called and I love it that way.

This fucking guy. I’ve always wondered how Yankee fans can count to 27, since they usually only have 20 fingers and toes.

Is that seriously your take on this?

Serious question: is there a US cable channel that shows Japanese baseball games? And if not, why the fuck not? They’re amazingly entertaining and the level of play is very high.

I don’t know why I love this so much, but I do. I love this so much.

The Next Matt Stares

Everybody is jumping on you for forgetting that he was traded to Boston (which is fair), but I am fascinated by your prediction that a seven game World Series featuring the goddamn Los Angeles Dodgers would somehow be the a ratings loser.

any ace who goes over to New York or Boston just looks like a fucking soulless merc.

Of course not, they’d say it in French: baseball de football

“The Fucking Best Fucking Team Fucking In Fucking Baseball...”

Counterpoint: Gareth Bale’s bald spot-obscuring man bun is fooling no one.

I will never get tired of watching him play, even if he swings at pitches five feet out of the zone.