It took him that long to realize he was on the Bills? 

Fascinating. I think we need to leave open the possibility that “GUTLESS LIBERAL SNOWFLAKE ! ! EMAIL ME BACK IF I GOT IT WRONG” is actually part of the email signature.

And I 100% believe the Venn diagram between “dead letter writers” and “MAGA chuds” is a circle.

Mental health is no joke, but this asshole is. 

Barry, you prude, you’re acting like you’ve never stuffed a platonic friend’s muff in your face then transitioned her into a hurricarana in the name of competition before.

I lost my shit at “razzle-dazzle (German call).”

big deal my phillies signed a coach who suntans his balls

Did we check if the stove is actually on or is the gas just running?

Jesus, McAdoo’s really gone off the deep end.

I don’t blame him for being crabby. This looks like the most uncomfortable Dr. Scholl’s insole ever. The fucking guy isn’t even gellin’

So that’s what Claude Julien’s internal monologue sounds like. Neato.

Lebron James & Derrick Rose?

Niko Mirotich & Bobby Portis.

Does your parent company hate you?

He, like many, probably lost faith in this website after Clark the Cub failed to clear 75% in the 2014 Hall of Fame vote.

“I told the trainers my groin was not responding.”

Really gonna be awkward, post-surgery, when Davis’ pain-killers are nowhere to be found.

And of course when a runner totally trucks his tackler it’s known as a “Tongan sidestep”

I prefer my sports where players intimidate the opposing team by carrying around large wooden bats, from a completely different sport, to symbolize the metaphor of “bringing the wood” while they warm-up on the field before the game.

Fiji Bati, the Fijian side take a somewhat different path, singing a hymn before their game against USA