Jeez, Donald, put the toupee back on.

The employees look so lifelike. Great animatronics!

“Why, yes, I am planning on replacing my staff with robots next year.”

Not asparagus. It’s people.

Butter Hole Boy would be a great name for a band.

What if we have a restaurant sex story that involves poop and vomit and idiot customers getting it on with crazy staff and doing foul things to bread sticks?

Turns out the customer’s skull is both red and crunchy on the inside, but mostly gluten free.

Not after the multitudes dined n dashed with that whole fishes and loaves incident.

If it happened in Tennessee, pretty much all you really need to know about what happened is that it began with someone uttering those words, “Hey, hold my beer and watch this!”

Visiting io9er here, but if there was ever an article that needed a “Holy Crap WTF” tag, this is it.

Whatever a suzy is, it’s prone to falling asleep, apparently.

Horrid and awful, to be sure. But it would have been even worse if it had been put into a Bible tract.

Hey now, do you know how much bullshit it takes to keep grass this green?

Oh, no the red is next to the crunchy.

I blame our increasing emphasis on multitasking. Since candy is dandy and liquor is quicker, we’re now combining the two. But I still prefer s’more schnapps over this stuff.

Is that a tomato, or a finger? Either way, it’s mine, now.

I’d like to modestly propose a situation where children should be welcomed into even the finest of restaurants.

I had to try that one. It was simultaneously horrid and glorious. I’m glad I tried it. Once. Once was enough.