If you think DC’s streets suck now, wait until they have tank treads rolling down them.

Have you ever owned a bad hammer? It’s a hammer.

TRONC NO LIKE MEAN MAN! TRONC HIT!

Many years ago, I had a boss who lived above where we worked. Every morning, he would come down for his first cup of coffee and he would mutter, “fuckers!” I never found out who the fuckers were, but the older I get, the more I agree with the sentiment.

Oh good. Lead. Because we need something to make techbros more aggressive...

Can it be, like, neither?

This makes me wonder if most Americans would even give a shit if this was happening somewhere on the mainland. What will it take?

What does he ever mean?

Maybe god lost her number. You don’t know!

Sorry about your face.

Dan Scavino writes much better tweets than his boss and it all works out because they use the same account.

He always looks like he needs a shower. Always.

It’s a true derp face.

But who will pay for her botox?

We want to believe Carter Page, because he is such a weak, tragic figure dipshit in a miserable tale of betrayal and deceit.

A civilized nation would have thrown him out with torches and pitchforks for saying something like that.

They slap the warnings on the sides of buildings. Great, I’m standing next to something that might give me cancer. What the fuck am I supposed to do about it?

He’ll always be Cereal Killer to me.

Shouldn’t that human centipede chain extend to Putin?

Kurzon!