Does she still live in a tower with a giant mechanical sculpture?

I think it’s less that Christmas is a pagan holiday and more that Christmas was held near the solstice to both lure pagans away and keep converts in the faith- “See? You still get your mid-winter celebration. It’s just about Jesus now!”

In the bus that killed Metallica’s bassist.

I’d tell him to fuck off and die with dignity, but he has none, so just fuck off you rapist piece of shit.

So I guess we can add Pocahontas to the vast number of things Trump knows absolutely nothing about.

I can’t imagine white the difference is between this case and Philando Castile’s. Why didn’t the jury black the Castile family?

All those boys had to do was wait until winter freezes the water and they could carve it into a gun. You don’t know what these officers go through!

Maybe, but at least I’ll have tried.

If that proves it, I guess you must think that previous verdicts prove that OJ Simpson and Robert Blake did not commit murder, right? Also George Zimmerman?

Does that mean Bill Cosby is the right person to give advice to people who are falsely accused?

First one, then the other. There’s plenty of time for both!

He’s basically begging for a pie in the face.

The third possibility, which I think is even worse, is that he is a true believer in Cosby’s innocence. Meaning he thinks that it’s not rape to drug women and have non-consensual sex with them, as Cosby already admitted to doing under oath.

The Cosby and Castile verdicts have convinced me to never, ever try to get out of jury duty again, and I actually always have a valid excuse that can get me out. Never, ever again. Neither should any other smart person. Oh, it’s inconvenient to your lifestyle? Boo fucking hoo. You know what’s really inconvenient?…

This is like when OJ said he was going to hunt for the “real killers” after the trial...

If nothing else, for balance purposes.

YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU’RE NOT MY MOM!

I’m sorry that’s happening to them, but can’t they, like, cast a fire ward spell or something?

I turn 40 at the end of the month and I expect my birthday party to be at least that depressing for attendees or I’ll be seriously bummed.

The cost comes in things like printing signs to put on every single pump and at the register.