The Linda Cardellini shout-out is super cute. She hasn't really remained a big name, but I think she could definitely crush it. Good eye, Bill.

That quote reads like a line by a Tracy Morgan character.

Ok, yeah. *thinking of it right now* I am down with this.

I put ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard on my hotdog. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

I think it's a National SHAME that Alfonso Ribeiro isn't our generation's Regis Philbin.

I think men/society has not come up yet with a correct notion of what is sexy in a man. Of what's sexy in women we are all very aware, but we have had ages of developing that.

There is no such thing as a good white rap parody video.

This rule has served me well throughout my life: be ugly. Nobody is interested in pictures of me, I could post them online right now and nobody would share them (except maybe to laugh, but I love making people laugh, so it kind of works).

And that's not even mentioning all the financial security that comes with the pot of gold.

Sadly, that's how I imagine most people would react to seeing me nude as well.

Exactly how do you square "I live in a word where most people...manage to go on and treat each other with love and respect" with "Not only that, if you then make it your personal mission to over-analyze and condemn artistic license, you're an idiot and you're destructive."

Someone stated their opinion on something and…

fuck you I'm sexy as shit

I'm still convinced that "French Montana" is actually the name of a territory way back when. Some shit I lost points for forgetting about in APUSH.

Now I feel like a loser for not having 100 friends. :-(

As soon as I saw this, I thought, "That looks like David Muir. I wonder who it is." Spoiler alert: It's David Muir.

I've taken some solace that pretty much everyone in the world, from Palestine to Egypt to Iran to Russia to China, thinks this is fucked up except for white Americans.

Really? I mean, the hands are really good, and he sure paid a lot of attention to her spine and lower back, but that face is flaaaat and not the work of someone I would call a "master".

"We just wanted everybody to know that we support Michael and acknowledge what happened in Ferguson,'' Brandon Meriweather said.

If the boyfriend managed to post bail before she was booked, this would have been some kind of meth addict version of Romeo and Juliet.