Uhh

Awesome. I can't wait to read something funny on here.

Wrinkles nose..."uptick in lameness" by quitting smoking? Is it 1993? Is smoking still cool?

I hate stuff like this that's marketed as "healthier", because inevitably the conclusion they're trying to bring people to is that these are "healthy" fries, and thus you can totally eat them, no worries! Buy more friez!

Please tell me the italics are supposed to evoke him whispering the name down at his chest. Mr. Webs and I make that joke all the time and NO ONE gets it!

You read my mind.

His alleged sexual assault definitely wouldn't put off that tribute either.

...wasn't this already covered on Jez? Or is this a new study with the same old same old?

Only if other people can't stop looking and walk into a moving bus maybe, haha

Yeah. Because lesbian women are SO into joining sororities.

I was going for the Master of suspense, but I like all of these better. Esp. North by Northwest, which I am guessing with be the name of the next Kimye kid.

This reminds me a little of Yul Brynner's anti-smoking PSA:

She did what she felt is right and she might have saved thousands of lives for speaking the truth she had to live through. It's a shame she had to show the consequences, but I admire her strength and bravery.

I love those people, b/c they also inevitably leave feedback for recipes online:

I sang that to the tune of Mustang Sally. I really should go now...

"Proofreading matters, people." Indeed, Gawker Media. Indeed.

One of the Jackson girls? It's JANET (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty).

The phrase "sticking he butt in a man face" is the best thing to come out of this VMA performance, hands down.

I like your style. This comment made my day!

That looks like the pornographic version of the Princess Leia costume...and I kind of dig it.