Hey, at least this was a 25+ year wait.

Well I would assume this is exactly why she wears yoga pants.

I bet she's a terror out on Colorado Boulevard.

It's amazing - I (an old) hadn't heard of this until maybe two weeks ago...when Jez started using it in every other article. You can tell when someone in the Jez office discovers something, as it appears from nowhere then propagates through the entire site (oh hai 5 Seconds of Summer). It's an interesting phenomenon…

I'm not sure the birthing of two children constitutes an Exodus, but it would have at least made a little more sense.

I am absolutely not embarrassed by who I lost my virginity to. She was blonde, nearly six-feet tall, and one of the first things that comes up when you Google her is a list of her patents. She was really pretty great.

Why yes, yes I did.

I think it's the combination of the Fritos and the dough. It just looks so...dry. Frito Chili Pie (or basically just chili on top of Fritos) I'm totally fine with.

Oh, I am - my kids were the ones who perked up when they saw it. I'll eat just about anything, but this...this gave me pause.

Pfft.

X marks the boob.

Me too. My butt is always there, even when thinner (it's of the bubble variety for sure) - but when I put on weight, it goes there and to my stomach.

Well, Wilt Chamberlain claimed 20,000.

Bumble - Where all the men are toothless!

Is Charleston Tucker the dumbest name you've ever heard?

1958: The Royal Teens discover the ass

Suck responsibly.

It was A.C. Moore. She's crafty, that one.

Come on, dude. This is the age of photoshop! Who needs real models?