I just read this. And what you were handed, Liza, was a pile of steaming shit. I am so angry I can’t write right now, but I do want to know what this conference was and who the organizers were. I’m very serious — I would like names and contact information.

You’ve got to be kidding me.
Texas, for most of its history, ain’t done shit for the commonwealth, net. In the last decade or so it’s had a terrific boom in extraction industries, which is part of why it’s been so unbelievably difficult for us to follow the lead of smarter nations, and unhook ourselves somewhat from…

Yeah. Well, I was all resigned to caucusing for Hill, but I think I’m done now. Why? Two reasons, one superficially trivial, the other not.

One. Hill’s campaigns are tremendous spambots, so this year, starting in summer, I told all her army of frothingly enthusiastic young things: If you want my support, do not spam…

Wul yeah, because everybody knows that if she’s president, all the boys will have to line up to get mesh caps sown into their scalps and get castrated when they turn 14, except for a few whose job is to produce seed. That way they’ll be useful in the femiverse.

gawd, brogressives.

JUST FUCKING SECEDE ALREADY, TEXAS. NOBODY WILL STOP YOU.

Why are you on the set of 8 1/2?

You know, I don’t think I’ve ever fully recovered from the Age of Teal. Also, Nancy. How did she live in a place where women have no idea how to dress? I mean look at her, she’s an awards statue.

All good ideas. However: considering that my mom, never a stellar human being, simply abandoned us when I became the scraping-by single mom of a preschooler (help, no; cruises for her, yes), I have absolved myself of all gift-

Why are they permanently in an Ibsen play?

Oh god I’m so glad this particular vowel shift has gone away. Winner for most punchable vowel shift.

Um. Sorry, overshot. FOB = Friend of Bill. Took me most of the way through the vid to figure out what the kids think it means. Lot of expensive effects tooootally wasted on me.

“Race”?

Congrats on not even being able to keep race (as far as it exists) and religion separate.

Amen.

This is a credible point of view only when we don’t bring down ready-for-war militias on black demonstrators who are doing nothing but standing around in the street with a political beef.

Um...you might recall that back in the day, you carried a quarter, or possibly a dime. Because there were these things called pay phones. In case you had to get hold of your parents. And if you were home, there was a thing we now call a land line, in case you and your parents needed to talk to each other.

Wake up,…

Oh plzzzzzz. Yes, she wants to CONTROL HIS ENTIRE LIFE because, you know, Mom. OH MY GOD MOM STAAAAHP also can I have some money? I HATE YOU.

This is my life. Where is the Star Gate, please?

on reread: I actually kinda like that clothes on the floor idea. That’s a pretty good one. Keeps the clean laundry away from the…

So what this says to me is that about half of Republican men are viciously racist, sexist, xenophobic, all-around-neo-Nazis, and only about a third of Republican women are.

FREE RANGE BOOBS NOW oh I have to go to the gym

My 12-year-old, by the way, tries this rhetorical approach and thinks it’s *hilarious*.

“Okay, time to do your homework.”
“But you have homework. I have to go shopping.”

If you treat anything she says at this point as speech, and attempt to respond to it like a sane human being, you’ve lost. All you can do is remove her…