Except for when it comes to actual sexual assaults that have been committed. Then, it’s INNOCENT! And you can’t prove him guilty because lying liar women.

And then he would say “This is the problem with you condescending liberals.”

I know this because I was in conversation with a relative about ACA over Thanksgiving and he wasn’t making a ton of sense so I said “Wait, do you know what I mean when I say mandate?” and his response was “Ugh, people like you are the reason…

Dear CIA,

It’s impossible to describe the thing this most resembles without being accused of exhibiting Godwin’s law, but sometimes the comparison is apt.

Waiting to see Lewandowski condemn Wikileaks for releasing illegally obtained emails...

So can we all just admit at this point that Assange is just Putin’s tool to wreck democracy?

Trump may have promised that Caitlyn Jenner can use the bathroom of her choosing in Trump Tower, but he truly doesn’t give a shit about what his employees will do to anyone else.

replying to bump this thread above loco-james. i can’t believe i’m in the grays and that shitbird is not. i have good things to say!

So I was supposed to go to the Rifftrax Holiday broadcast today. But the theater I always go to was, with no explanation, not showing it. So I took the day off work and was denied even the tiniest scrap of comfort or joy, in a personal teeth kick from 2016.

God, this season of America is such shit.

None. I never got drafted.

Women love me.

This is what equality looks like, ladies.

So, your sad, misguided comment failed to do what you expected, and now, you’re going to pout. Bless your heart.

“This is what equality looks like” - Yeah we know this is what we’ve been fighting for.

It’s so weird how (usually conservative) dudes have created an imaginary alternate universe in which 1) women are the most vocal opponents of women serving equally in the military, and 2) this is literally the last barrier to equality.

Thanks :)

Trumpers have tried to use this to get me to see the error of my (liberal) ways

Can we make sure we have access to birth control first please? 😬

Unrelated point: I really think Jon Stewart retired because deep down he knew Trump was going to win the election, and after all these years he just didn’t have it in him to go through with it night after night for the next 4-8 years.