Look, Messi is the best player of all time, as nearly everyone recognizes.

Lauren: Two more aspects to this story to consider:

That’s fair. Let’s pretend I was able to edit the clip to any 20-second span that includes Aguero’s goal.

This is fitting, since City and QPR have also played the most glorious 20 seconds of soccer ever.

That’s not just shade, that’s a straight-up total solar eclipse.

Hello apparently new(?)-Deadspin-soccer-writer Lauren. That was an informative, knowledgeable, and interesting article! On Deadspin! Thank you.

The Verve’s Urban Hymns is just an amazing album.

Dear New York:

All true, and now the stadium is not even “new,” which was the only thing it had going for it.

And deny Billy another chance to fellate Messi???

Here, I fixed this for you Billy:

Happiness is a Billy Haisley article that’s not about Messi.

The most shocking number in this article is 32 — Zimmerman’s age. He’s been so bad the last few years, I had just assumed he was 37ish and declining as a result.

Good memory - I completely forgot about this. Mike Rizzo is a great GM, but wow, he got lucky that day.

Isn’t there a Barca blog that you can write for instead, Billy?

The fact that Stones scored helps explain what the deal is with his defending. Pep’s all out attacking system requires his defenders to press and join the attack which often leaves them exposed on the counter. Pep’s ok with that since his strategy is to outscore the opponent, which City most often does. Stones’s…

“Love life. Like sports” is perfect. Sports are fun (and bring me to this website) but have they provided the “happiest moment of my life” or anything even close to it? No.

Finally, here it is. The Platonic ideal of every one of Billy’s articles.

OMG:

Second thing to watch for: packed Metro train getting stuck in the tunnel between Navy Yard and Waterfront for three hours.