Birth control methods, ranked in order of effectiveness:

Fairfax County Police are early favorites to dominate the Dieathalon.

Wow, that’s scary. Glad he’s on the road to recovery.

The score was 7-3; what qualifies as a “drubbing” for you? No goals are awarded for being the “best team on the ice” through two periods.

I don't think it's a stretch; I think you've nailed it. I'm also assuming that any Discovery Communications employees/Caps fans may be feeling the need to express a little hockey anger this morning as well.

Yes, I’m sure NBC Sports hates that the NHL’s second most marketable star is out of the playoffs.

I think the Tortorella-era Rangers were built to just get by, but this team is built for, and capable of, more. Which has made this playoff run really frustrating as a Rangers’ fan. There’s still this sense that they are capable of breaking out on offense, and hopefully that’ll happen against a more speed-oriented…

I’m excited to have Pep at City, but I hope Pep is bringing half of Bayern’s players with him.

There must have been a second shooter. No way that single puck got through Taylor Chorney before striking the fatal head blow.

F this team. Is there a more insecure franchise in sports than the Islanders? They take every chance they get to remind you that they’ve won four Cups. First it was those stupid four lines on the shoulder of their sweaters — as if they were notches on a belt. Now, this dumb patch. Their last Cup was 32 years ago, but…

That's a good fish.

HOW DARE any of you judge this man's workout until Hamilton Nolan lets us know whether it is HARDCORE.

Native NY'er. MCFC since 1998 (when they were in the third tier of English football). So no bandwagons here.

Oh, and how does being a Rangers fan even implicate being a bandwagoner? We have one cup in 70 years. Idiot.

This is true, since New York is actually better than your city, whatever it is.

As a then-17 year old Rangers fan living in New Jersey, it is hard to overstate how much winning that game and beating the Devils meant to me and other NJ-based Rangers fans. I would have had to quit high school had the Rangers lost.

My favorite part of Howie's call is how his emotion reaches the breaking point in…

Yaya Touré Wants To Go Home Because Nobody Made Him A Birthday Cake

Even if Parros were to make it out to the ice, I'm pretty sure he only satisfies two of those three criteria.

Prust has every right to criticize here. He would never make avoidable contact with a goalie while trying to score.

"1940!"

- Some other jerkoff Devils/Islanders/Flyers fan, June 13, 1994

I couldn't be prouder to be a fucking New York Ranger fan after these last two games.