I just want to know one thing...Where, was your underwear?

Hope he watched that Diary of a Mad Black Woman BlueRAY I sent him...

And now britain has a real sweaty puffy coke whore for a prime minister!

#iamacraftbeerthatwasboughtbyahugecorporation

I like a Dirty Knuckle when I’m cooking. That’s equal parts vodka and pickled pigs feet brine.  

Have you actually read a cookbook published in the last 20 years?

You have never actually tried to cook with one of those recipes in those cookbooks you curl up with, have you?

Wifi

If I’m gonna drank wine, I do.

Are we sure this isn’t a reboot of Eastbound and Down?

My mom asked me bout this. I still don’t have an answer.

If you’re thinking about how much the mark-up is on what you’re eating, you probably should have went somewhere else.

The internet.

And he’s not 70 years old. Trump will be dead. This guy will have decades to be remembered as a joke.

This is why you have your OWN webpage.

This never happened when you could tear up the carbons.

Tailgating? Is that ewat the kids are calling it these days?

or, you could just pick up the phone.

He played em. He wanted out of his contract. 

Is hot dog water stock, or broth?