shotgunfuneral
ShotgunFuneral
shotgunfuneral

okay but i finally learned how to fold a fitted sheet and that was a proud moment

And that’s why I appreciate you!

I spent way too much on a Kate Spade scarf on Black Friday, and it’s prettttty close to Rose Quartz. I’m taking this as a sign that I don’t need to return it after all.

Harper hired a hairstylist?

They are paid for every hour, 24/7. This means that they are paid even when they are sleeping, though they remain on call at all hours. Further, it seems that their room and board are also covered, so all of the money they make is theirs to take home (or, more likely, to send to their families).

The nannies work in Ontario, where the minimum wage is 11.25. I am not sure where the minimum wage cited in this article comes from.

Suddenly “I’m moving to Canada” seems like the thing that sane, logical Americans might consider, rather than the traditional “I’m moving to Canada” crowd.

So here’s a thought, we live in a society that lets people own bears right? And ANYONE can get a bear easily and cheaply. I understand that some people can safely own bears, but keeping bears around kids and people who don’t know how to care for bears is a bad idea. However people keep saying that our violent bear

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This guy is right up there with this other guy:

I love how doctors manhandle babies so confidently like a sack of potatoes. I hold my niece like she is made of tissue paper, but this guy is a pro!

but seriously, we are all goddamned ADULTS! Our own bedrooms should be a fucking perk of being an adult.

If I had as much money as Bey and Jay I would have TWO ROOM PER PERSON. TWO ROOMS AND AN EN SUITE EACH. Because why have that much money and still share a bed with someone when you can have a triple king size and your own clubhouse all to yourself?

I probably shouldn’t get married.

I also appreciate her adopting a child from within the US. Of course, adopting a child from anywhere is a wonderful act of love, but I feel like with the rich and famous it often comes off as a “look at my foreign exotic designer baby” kind of thing. There are way too many foster children getting bounced around the

I don’t know, Sean Penn beat, held hostage and I think either sexual assaulted or threatened to sexually assault Madonna well they were involved and she went to the police and people still loooove him.

Connery and Lennon were of a different time. Fassbender had restraining orders filed against him

I know it’s not the point, but how do those pants stay up?

‘I’m really sorry, a kangaroo just got run over outside our house.’”

To me, this sounds like the only tolerable hair salon conversation.