I know. Deklan is a terrible name.

Is it just me, or do you stop taking someone seriously the minute they use the word ‘hubby’ in a professional email?

I hope she wins everything and becomes queen of that small town in Iowa. Fuck them. People may not understand it, but it's not an excuse to treat a human being like their worthless.

and so was Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

I WISH I could get my phone to fucking write “fuck.” Every other fucking word I type is some variation of “fuck” and it never fucking works.

Oh, Madonna, using rosaries as jewelry wasn’t cool in the 80’s back when you were actually Catholic and it isn’t now when you are not.

It’s too big to be realistic. Man buns are puny, that’s why they are so delighful. It’s like erasers that look like sushi or donut holes. It’s charm is in its minature-ness.

Already making ‘Merica Great Again.

I don’t know, she doesn’t really seem interested in the presidency? But then, maybe she saw how Hillary was dragged through the press and thought better of showing any sort of ambition.

I had that happen to me at Sephora last week, at checkout she asked “And did you get any samples today?” and I said “No, but I’m always excited to try new things.” And she gave me a sample of a nice face cream, she had a stack of them already made up under her register. Score!

I will tell you as an employee that the reason we rarely have samples pre-made is because half the time, we literally don’t have any. We keep a small supply for those rare occasions when someone is being very... difficult... and we make them a goody bag to make up for it. But we will happily sample you anything in the…

I think responding with a general category of products should work; no need to request a specific brand and item. Like “I’ve been interesting in moisturizing face masks,” or “a primer,” or “a new perfume for the season,” or whatever it is that you’re curious about. I’m sure since the Sephora cashier offered, she’d be…

I generally just say “oooh, I’d love to try a new lotion” or mask or whatever. They can just pull out little containers and sample any freaking thing in the store.

Send her that comments section about cunnilingus maybe she will change her mind.

bruh go spit some game

Perfection, thy name is Lupita.

Did no one tell her IT’S FUCKING NOVEMBER?

This also brought up the (non?-) issue of having holiday products showing up in Canada before Remembrance Day—11 November, for all you ‘muricans. Someone on the Starbucks Canada Facebook page suggested that Starbucks ought to make a Remembrance Day themed cup. I replied with something simple like “why do you want to…

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.