This is a preemptive shut the fuck up about defending your favorite (insert profession here) against “unsubstantiated allegations”. Go somewhere else to do that or better yet, don’t do it at all and go play in traffic.

oh my god, there’s 25 amendments? How can anyone be expected to keep track of all that?!

Hey, regarding those promises to the coal industry? NPR just reported that TEXAS is decommissioning three coal-fired power generation plants. If fossil fuel can’t even keep their own mecca in line, it’s time to realize the jig’s up.

I mean, it’s called the fucking U.S. VIRGIN ISLANDS! It’s not even a thing you had to have learned at any point that it’s part of the U.S., it’s right there in the name.

I like imagining Rihanna on the couch eating her night cheese.

However we choose to overturn the white patriarchal apple cart, we are wrong.

Silly women. Privacy is only OK for men sending rape threats.

No proof, not story? Ronan Farrow had plenty of proof and nbc news still wouldn’t run the Weinstein story.

Three thousand pounds of scrap metal will never have a negative price.

The sauce contains potassium benzoate.

Imagine being stupid enough to trade in your car for a packet of shitty novelty sauce.

Once upon a time young college student Kris embarked on a 6 hour train ride to visit a friend. I packed an awesome tuna sandwich (imported tuna, arugula, fancy bread, etc. ). As I’m settling into my seat, I catch sight of the person next to me and see that it’s an extremely hot guy. Because I was just the sort of…

Correct. Which is why I want to be buried with my curated collection.

Gifs are contemporary art, as far as I’m concerned.

College: that special time when we all experiment with bad toupees.

I’m going to find a way to keep this active on my desktop at work, so it sits above all other open programs, and runs on a fucking loop for 4 more years.

It’s so you know they’re big men in charge

Not even for today. Chances are very high that this face is because cheetolini didn’t give enough Americans the shaft. Rand was likely pushing for worse.

Lol. It looked like he really didn’t want to have to shake Trump’s hand, down to that little exhale when it seemed he avoided it.