I would be more likely to shop Jcrew if they didn't attach a final sale to their internet clearance items. Fuck that noise. You don't carry half the shit in your stores so I can't even try it on there and then order it online when it goes on clearance. ESPECIALLY THE SHOES.

Of COURSE it's Eagle Rock. Of course.

Well, we’re talking about gender equality in North & South Korea now soooooooo

THANK YOU

#notallpencilstores

My bouquet was made out of vintage brooches and baling wire and could have killed someone had it been chucked.

Sweet Jeebus please tell us you’ll be here all week!

Why stop at welfare recipients? I would like to see every person receiving a tax payer funded pay check have to under go drug testing.

Do not fuck with Shonda. Columbus Short knows what I’m talking about.

Skin cancer is equal opportunity.

You must be exhausted after all that critical thinking. Good work. Hit the showers.

Maybe it will be a 90 minute apology to the women of Jaurez.

Wannabe debutante sorority girls from Duluth.

I carry a small can of wasp spray! You know, in case I happen upon annoying pests that might hurt me!

Huh. I never would have pegged him as gay.

Oh, you know my Aunt Bonnie too?

That enraged me and I don’t know either of you.

I get drunk. And luckily for everyone around me, including my husband, I am a sleepy drunk. I drink the Makers & ginger doubles at Chilis Too and fall the fuck asleep as soon as I find my (hopefully the correct one) seat.

THANK YOU.

SOOOOO GOOOOOD