Still shares waaay too much with the Shake-Weight, Fleshlight, and other phallically inspired products to be street-legal.

Don’t piss off the locals, but look for border straddling reserves. Might be a decent down-low method instead of waiting for the lake to freeze safely.

Counterpoint: While drinking it is a bit much at least it’s not the American propensity to drown everything in Ranch. Ranch is fine, just use some damn moderation!

Also sew some tiny fishhooks into the flag edges. Harmless if left alone, a repeat of this would be caught red-handed.

Didn’t know that COVID-45 shared traits with cordyceps. Clearly he’s in last stage fungus-controlled brain zombie mode.

As an aside, Starbucks is not a coffee chain, it’s a dessert chain selling coffee flavoured drinkable confections.

The days of soup or chili in a bread bowl. Those days are gone

To bring us down to their level, better call them “Re-Re-edumbifcation” camps. Stove Touching 101, Bleach Drankin’ 102. How to name kids after the drug you were on while makin’ em: Methanie, Methanial, Methzekiel, and so on.

I liked the retro ad campaign for Carling Black Label: “Hey Mabel!, Black Label!” That was also the first ice beer sub-brand I tried. Black Ice sounded much cooler than it was tho.

Is everything she does just a self-Owens now?

That is one room-temp mess that can’t even afford both legs of her jeans. I know the pot she’s holding says “Chili” but we all know that’s way too spicy for her.

3) Skynet kills us all because it’s offended by our filthy filthy habits.

Never had the Breakfast Salsa packets locally, how were/are they?

You know that all the neckbeards are trying to show up the hippies and their sourdough starter with sourpuss whitebread tryin to start something. Just rebrand their outerwear as COVIDalls and make coin off their fool ass.

“Go where the Assassin’s Brotherhood has never been: Inside the Templars in Assassin’s COVID! Out in 2020"

Too soon for Halloween Costume of the Year to be a Trump Mask with a ventilator?

Watch out tho: like Cain, once he dies he may never stop tweeting.

THOTS and Playas

Once again marketing copy fail. “Crispy” is the adjective they should have gone with. “Crunchy” skin on a ham sounds gum-shredding? Or try fusion culinary appropriation : “Pumpkin 5-Spice Chai Latte, now from Starbucks”

Make the stuffing/dressing a sweet potato/pumpkin mix (maybe some sausage) with the trad spices and that should be a winner. Just please omit the marshmallows. Think it only works with a real bird, not turkey breast loaf.