Oh, Courtney, OW. Bondage tape exists for a reason. Use that if it’s going on bare skin, please. I got a rash just looking at the picture.

So, is it 7 am, the usual morning line-up?

The fact that she has ten children secretly on a farm in Iowa.

Oh, idk, that’s the kind of thing I would probably want, really. It’s simple and not too flashy and isn’t going to get caught on stuff.

I’m so embarrassed.....

SHHHHH DO NOT REVEAL HER PLAN!! Brannen is 13 now, and Justin treats her just like his own kid. Oh, and they both just absolutely dote on the triplets, Jane, Patrick, and Simon, who turn three next month.

It’s OK, they are clearly team Madeleine and wanted to make sure she got to break it here first.

My ex’s sister-in-law was exorcised at her husband’s church by their new pastor ON HIS FIRST SUNDAY. It was clearly a way to establish some kind of holiness street cred. He zeroed in on a young woman who was not very well known, but who had connections to the church, and who had a history of mental illness. Because of…

My top bird, Speckled Jim, my own true love, who’s been with me since he was a nipper!

So, if you ate the pigeon and claimed it never arrived, was that shade?

Lol, I suppose we’re allowed to have different impressions.

Because he seemed adorably awkward and nerdy on Good Eats. :(

What? What? Noooooooooo! I LOVE Alton! Why is he horrible? I will be so sad if he’s horrible!

I’m very likable.

They’re the same people who think that the government shouldn’t be able to dictate medical decisions (vaccinations, etc) unless those medical decisions involve a woman and her ability to control her reproduction. The cognitive dissonance is strong.

Amen. Read the book, people. It doesn’t actually endorse any of the shit you think it endorses.

You didn’t feed her to the raptors because you were scared of her vegan superpowers, weren’t you?

But it’s been a tradition ‘round here since the Puritans first came over from Europe to get away from the meanies who wouldn’t let them hang people who didn’t believe the same things they did!

It’s craziness, absolutely. The whole prison system is craziness. And then we throw them out into the world where because of their records they can’t find work and wonder why they return to crime.