Quick! Somebody check his pockets for super shiny nickels that got flattened by the train!

Pink are good, but yellow are great. But when you smoosh yellow and pink together? Magic.

Congratulations! You two look so happy; it’s awesome.

Yes, he is quite the annoying ass

Sadly, nobody knows what a porcupine looks like:

God, yes. I hate this argument. “Catcalling should be OK, because if I can’t obnoxiously hit on women as they walk down the street, how am I supposed to get a date!?” Ugh.

“Suffer” is probably the operative word, really.

This is clearly the only acceptable plan.

But then that means that he KNOWS he sang in 1814!

Be kind to yourself and don’t seek it out.

Such indulgent bullshit

Hey, Braff, guess what!? The Last Kiss was abominable, too. Sorry, buddy.

Hah! Yes, he does! Good catch. Now I’m wondering if Jimmy spilled his drink and it had to be taken away, and then he played with the juice box, so they took that away too. I’ve taught kids like that.

Sorry, I’m gonna tell you to fuck off and dismiss. NOT because I want to “silence the heathens” as I was accused earlier, but because you’re being an asshole.

Awwwww, poor Jimmy Fallon doesn’t get a drink.

Sam Bee is a perfect goddess.

Yeah, I’m gonna go with Fuck Off and dismiss you, now, k?

Again, not arguing that. (Except for the all religion is bullshit part.) As a church employee, I’d actually be thrilled to take the tax exempt status away from churches — it screwed me royally the times I was fired and every year at tax time. ALL I AM SAYING is that you can’t call all churches horrible because a few…