What? What? Noooooooooo! I LOVE Alton! Why is he horrible? I will be so sad if he’s horrible!

I’m very likable.

They’re the same people who think that the government shouldn’t be able to dictate medical decisions (vaccinations, etc) unless those medical decisions involve a woman and her ability to control her reproduction. The cognitive dissonance is strong.

Amen. Read the book, people. It doesn’t actually endorse any of the shit you think it endorses.

You didn’t feed her to the raptors because you were scared of her vegan superpowers, weren’t you?

But it’s been a tradition ‘round here since the Puritans first came over from Europe to get away from the meanies who wouldn’t let them hang people who didn’t believe the same things they did!

It’s craziness, absolutely. The whole prison system is craziness. And then we throw them out into the world where because of their records they can’t find work and wonder why they return to crime.

What’s even sadder is that I remember hearing an interview with a former inmate of our prison system and according to him, solitary confinement is so overused that it’s actually NOT solitary. You’re stuck in that tiny cell with someone else and you can’t get away from them, no respite from that person for days. Which…

Well, to be fair, I am often angry with random celebrities for not wearing cornrows. And random strangers. In fact, as I walk down the street, every day I yell out invectives at random women for not wearing their hair in cornrows.

Yes, I’ve been waiting for this story for a while now. Sadly, he seems to have chosen his victims carefully, and it’s possible that the women who didn’t survive will never be connected to him.

If it’s Crowley, i’m in.

Why do you even need to advertise, pornhub? YOU ARE THE HUB. all porn roads lead to you.

ALL THE WAY DOWN

THEY ARE SO SNEAKY. They learned it from the Lizard People.

I can shoot chocolate milk out of the gap between my two front teeth.

WTF? Is he wearing a bra or something? Those just look.... odd.

Some of us always will be.

CORRELATION IS NOT CAUSATION!

You forgot to mention how DARPA is doing this at the direction of the Illuminati.