Exaaaaactly

Dashing, Old Thing! You can be “Yoggy;” I’ll be “Botty.” Truly, the fact that Bertie is the most sensible of his friends is a sad comment on humanity. Poor Angela. She deserves so much better than that Glossop.

Really, why WOULDN’T she go? It would be worth it for the opportunity to network alone. The place must have been filled to the brim with high-powered execs for her to schmooze with. This is how the game is played. Having her at his wedding was much less of a feather in his cap than it was a great chance for her to…

I call dibs on being the one who doesn’t actually have a villa of her own but spends all her time travelling from friend to friend and spending weeks/months at a time. I also want a valet. I may have been watching too much Jeeves and Wooster lately.

DAMMIT! Foiled again!

Oh, the garbage man covets your pacifier. He is always watching, hoping to catch you with one again, so that he can steal it. With glee.

Yeah, but the fact that a FF4 movie was awful really surprised no one, nor did it create any true ire. Airbender was not only awful, it was also whitewashed and full of subtle racism. Thus, the comparison to Iggy. She basically responded to that with “yeah, but I make money, ha ha, and this new movie that came out…

If Donald starts constantly wearing roses, everyone start building up those archery skills.

True. So, surely we can organize something similar for the others? Obviously Ted Cruz’s should involve having an extremely punchable face... Oh! Maybe we can make “Cruz” synonymous to having sex in a position that means you don’t have to look at your partner’s face because you would just want to punch it.

I will ride that bike (which will have a wicker basket on the front, into which I will place an adorable small animal, possibly a guinea pig) while wearing a glorious retro fit and flare dress of checked gingham. Because I do things properly.

Can I come visit? Do guests get rooms with a good view of the farmhands fields?

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. No Patrick Stewart news is ever zzzzzzzzzzzzzz worthy. The man is entirely too adorable.

Yeah, I don’t think she won. She’s accusing admitted comic book nerds of liking comic book movies. BOLD. As a comic book nerd, my response to her final tweet is: I will enjoy it, thanks. And your point?

And really, NO PStew news is EVER zzzzzzzzzz. Sir Patrick is a living legend and entirely adorable.

What always cracked me up was how the kids who would invariably refuse a pacifier if it were offered (to the point of hurling it across the room with a force to make a superhero feel inadequate) would then tackle another child, put him in a sleeper hold, steal HIS pacifier, pop it in, and refuse to part with it. WUT.…

I am no longer married to a narcissistic drug addict. All is well.

Frankly, if a kid still has the need to suck (which, yup, totally developmentally normal) I would rather they used a pacifier than sticking EVERYTHING WITHIN REACH INTO THEIR MOUTHS OMG. If my years in childcare taught me anything, it is that kids who use pacifiers are not the ones eating the toys and making me…

Ugh, my eldest didn’t talk until he was 2 1/2 and I had so many people tell me that it was because of his pacifier. No, no, it wasn’t. He’s just one of those kids who talks late. He made up for it really quickly, too. REALLY quickly. Here is the timeline:

WHY ARE YOU JUDGING MY FAVORITE HOBBY!?

Kid #1 called it a “happy.” I’m pretty sure that’s just what “passie” sounds like when you’re two and you are trying to say it with one in your mouth, but “happy” it became and “happy” is what stuck. So when Kid #2 rolled around, we immediately started calling it his “happy.”