DAMMIT, MORIARTY! I FLAGGED THAT TROLL! WHY YOU UNGREY?

Even a broken clock is correct twice a day.

DAMN YOU, “FROM HERE TO ETERNITY!” *shakes fist*

Sexy 70s Leonard Nimoy is going to take them out for me.

Exactly. They seem to like each other, and have a good partnership. “Partnership” being the operative word, here. They may genuinely be in love, I don’t know. But that only appears to be part of their relationship. The political partnership appears to be a large part of what keeps them together. And hell, if it works…

Yeah, but is that really the whole story, either? If they have both had extra-marital affairs, that actually sounds more like open marriage territory, to me. Which isn’t exactly something they could advertise to the American public. But, unless one of them speaks extremely frankly to this issue, we don’t really know…

I ACCEPT!! I ACCEPT!!

No, no, she is clearly old enough to know not to put food in her mouth that doesn’t belong to her. She is using big words and walking on her own and everything. And even if she was having a rough day and so had regressed a bit (it happens to all babies when they’re tired and stressed), her caretakers should have…

You really could not possibly be more wrong. But you’re also obviously a troll, so you’ll just be dismissed from here on out

We refer to ourselves as the Fighting Squirrels. And tend to make jokes about how squirrels crack nuts. (We’re a women’s college.)

Oh, I get the angry part. I just wondered about the squirrel part. My alma mater’s mascot is a squirrel, and we tend to be pretty rabidly loyal and have a bit of a squirrel obsession after graduation.

I don’t deal much with United, frankly. And it’s quite possible that they don’t train their customer service agents well, because that’s what that sounds like. So, maybe one of them will see this and take it to heart. It’s stuff that needs to be remembered by anyone in customer service, just as those of us on the…

OUCH.

Where did your handle come from? Inquiring Minds Squirrels Who Wear Pearls want to know.

This could probably make for a good article, yes. But this isn’t really the way to pitch it. The better way to go about it is by contacting Jez through the tips line (from the “How to Reach Jezebel” portion of the site):

Wow..... your world has no actual relationship with reality, does it?

All pageants are not created equal. But there are lots of things that the pageant circuit can help young women learn that classes can’t, ie, poise, public speaking, grace under pressure, that kind of thing. At this point, it may be a bit antiquated, but there was a time when they truly did serve a purpose. And while…

Well, he’s certainly sexier when I can’t see his eminently punch-able baby-face.

DUH