True. But it often FEELS like the majority of American Christians believe in it because since that belief is all wrapped up in the evangelical movement (ie, the ONLY sort of preacher you see on the religious channels) the ones who do tend to be extremely vocal about it. The rest of us just quietly go about our days,…

The Rapture is basically like Jesus telling everybody in the bar that there's this other really awesome party at his friend's house on the beach in Malibu, except he makes you promise not to tell your two drunk friends who've been yelling out quotes from Doctor Who all night.

This is lovely. I hope all of the staff have an amazing time and that the husband's fiancee feels truly special.

Burt, if you need an assistant on the Tom Hiddleston beat, you know, someone to look through Hiddles pics and gifs and pass the best ones along to you, just let me know. I'll be happy to hold your coat while you beat down the deniers. And then I'll just stick my foot out real casual-like and trip them so you can…

I MISS GAME OF THREADS SO MUCH!!!!

Hmmmm, I'm not so sure. I have gotten flak for both not looking good enough AND for looking too good, whereas my male co-workers don't get any flak either way as long as their beards are neat and they are clean. When the guy who normally just looks neat and professional gets "dolled up" one day, the comments are all…

Oh, MCI. Your Friends and Family plan may be gone from our phones, but not from our hearts. We will forever remember you through the magic of Destiny's Child.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. You are a Goddess and I shall worship you with vodka.

No. You don't get to assume that your job is worse. Food service is hot, smelly, demanding, dirty, gross, exhausting, and you have to do it all with a a cheerful smile while people bite your head off and act like complete shits to you simply because you work in a "menial" job. I don't know what your job is, and I'm…

Does this mean that the gum I like is going to come back in style?

I will immediately grow my hair back out long. Just for this dude. And his boner. Never mind the fact that my fine hair looks perpetually limp and sad when it's long. Never mind the fact that my shorter hair looks healthy and sassy. Dude wants long hair. It is my duty as a lady-person to comply with the Boner's…

Huh. And just last night I had a dream in which I got lost at a conference and ended up at a cooking demonstration by Paula Deen. Who was in blackface, but I was the only one who thought that shit was racist and fucked up.

Yup. It was voted on by the fans.

I am glad that they are retiring the character. No one else could possibly be Mrs. Krabappel. She was a great character, and all things considered a great teacher.

The nagging girlfriend trope is old.

Ok, I spend a day shopping with the Bots, and what happens? I find that Burt is doing the Dirt Bag, which means that I have to start making ample time in my schedule for Dirt Bag reading from here on out. Does this mean that Daniel Craig will be popping up to comment on occasion?

Did you not read what you just wrote? That is exactly saying that women are like dogs. That is how similes work. That is how logic works. That may not be your intent, but that is exactly how it comes across and the fact that you cannot see it is more disturbing than the original quote. YOUR quote.

whoa, whoa, whoa..... We're letting the DUTCH braid things now? What? What is this magic?