Is that tonight? Shit. I don’t have anything to drink for the drinking game. Nor do I have any idea what the words/phrases the drinking game should incorporate. I am woefully prepared.

I was in the middle of a group messenger conversation with a pal who lives in Hawaii and it was fucking surreal. Her message:

Yeah, the dudes are helpless, clueless and pathetic buffoons trope needs to stop.

TOTALLY! Same tone, same lyrical way of stringing words together.

I feel as though you are me. This is exactly what I did. Also, Chopped is the best because basically, this is a dramatized version of me standing in front of my open fridge and realizing I need to “get creative” in order to make a palatable meal out of a 2 week old wilted leek, some 6 year old tamarind paste, string…

Her dad is totally thirsty, but couched his negotiation attempts as being an advocate for his child. He’s vile. She needs someone who is not her dad to advocate for her. You comparison to Bynes/Lohan is probably prescient.

I do believe this is what one calls “lip service”. Flake is either a coward, a liar, or both. Probably both. His performative objections add up to nothing. I would be not at all surprised that he’s quietly setting himself up and providing himself future sound bites for 2020.

Hannibal Buress did some standup as he was being arrested for “trespassing” (though he was later charged with disorderly intoxication).

Yep. Curtain/Carpet, etc.

Yep. He’s his own personal flotation device.

I have zero patience for pedantry any day or time unless it’s self aware and comes with apologetic disclaimers both before and after.

Oh, they take great pride in being dour. They’re in heavy competition with the Monty Python Yorkshiremen skit.

Coming at you to say you are right.

Sounds like an absolute delight compared to Scots Presbyterianism and Dutch Calvinism. Did you know that Christmas celebrations were actually banned in Scotland in 1640, and only became an official holiday in the 1960s? These are my people. They do not want you to have fun.

Yep. A very solid recommendation. The same reason I brought crayons, stickers, colouring books and the iPad when the fam went out for dinner. Keeps the kids occupied while the grown ups talk.

Oh shit. Now you’ve done it. I feel the need to revisit my childhood and I must have those Tart’n’ Tinys- even if they don’t come in the proper dispenser box.

As a person who once witnessed her Dutch father in law accidentally put a handful of pretzels in his half empty cup of tea, then solemnly fish one out, eat it, shrug, finish drinking the tea filtered through the salty pretzels. and then eat the very soggy pretzels, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Pure practicality…

Yep I sure do! Any of the sour type candies were (are) my favorite. My kid (18yo) came home the other day carrying a box of Nerds and offered some to me. I pretty much yanked them out of his hands, while shouting “GIMME!” and poured half into my mouth.

I admit, I’ve gotten used to it. Even like some of it. My husband likes the salty balls, which sounds way inappropriate. Imagine an orb of licorice filled with powdered salt and anise. DISGUSTING.

Australian soft licorice is pretty delicious, if you haven’t tried it yet. Darrell Lea is the brand we get. SO GOOD!