Investigations on Miller’s finances began when a bankruptcy lawyer happened to see her on TV and guessed there was no way she could only be making the $9,000 a month she claimed.

Yes, giving a glimmer of hope when every set of odds says otherwise is a brilliant idea. /s

Well, that can’t end well. Cipro destroyed both of my Achille’s tendons and I’ve been recovering for 19 months and still have trouble walking. I can’t imagine how it might fuck some poor Olympian over.

This is for a role in a movie set in World War II. It’s his stab at being in a period movie.

Things I have been caught doing in public:

If by “it,” you mean eating a packet of relish at the Metropolitan Museum of Art because you’re super stoned, then yes.

Leading causes of death in Russia (per capita):

“Urine a lot of trouble.”

why is it that every male who thinks he owns my uterus always looks so fucking happy about it?

Is this a trope of the aughts teen angst cause neither did I.

And I didn’t make it through all the way, but I did click it against my better judgment. I don’t hate the message, but I’m not loving the messenger.

I’m going with “successful marketing tactic” because there is NO WAY I would have watched this video otherwise.

“‘hey, can you hide my mustache and take off my mole-hair ... those close-ups, you never know. So I just asked them to do that”

I worked with a woman whose sister ended up divorcing her husband because of solar power. (No shit, this was the jumping off point for them) Her mom and dad got solar panels on their house and their son-in-law announced that he was a “coal man for life” and stormed out. He then told his wife that no one would be going…

Yeah, but she followed it up with “bewigged Sunny Delight bottle,” which is great.

Any way to make that apartment airtight? Asking for a friend.

I’m not one to criticize, but “malignant corn chip” is one of the weaker Trump-isms we’ve been treated to. Gotta rally, Anna; only six more months of this silliness!

If he’s going to put out an Executive Order to bring back old school Aquanet I may have to reconsider my stance (jk)

Maybe his apartment does have a perfect seal preventing his hairspray from entering the environment; Trump breathing in those chemicals every day would certainly explain a lot.