jacques pépin makes a chocolate honeycomb pistachio bark that looks an awful lot like that deuce.

maybe t-pain’s a fan?

Of course he’s texting buddies with Trump.

Did you see the bit on Full Frontal where Sam showed Cruz talking about the trans gender bathroom issues and of course he supports the birth certificate bathroom law “because he has two young daughters and doesn’t want to think about some man stalking in the bathrooms and doing God knows what”.

To her therapist

High-maintenance friends are the worst! I bet Kasich says things like “You never call me first, I always have to call youuuu!” and “If you were really my friend you’d come to all my rallies.” in a whiney baby voice.

I am utterly convinced that his older daughter straight up hates him. She’s always the one vocally trying to get away from him or saying things that are very unhelpful for Cruz. I’m hoping that in college she comes out as a guns metaphorically blazing liberal.

True, but coming from the former Speaker of the House, a staunch republican leader, and scourge of progress everywhere this is sweet, sweet music. He’s a few sentences away from saying aloud his party is fucked and they fucked up in giving people like Cruz a platform. It’s like the sound of a huge implosion and angels…

But -500 points for being, Boehner.

Seriously, John Boehner doesn’t use a bronzer—he doesn’t tan either—he is just saturated with bourbon.

I was going to say John Boehner has gone up in my opinion, but reading that negated all the good stuff. :(

he is “texting buddies” with Donald Trump

Wait till you hear her music.

I have never been angrier at Iggy Azalea.

I am clearly not fat-shaming him, dude. I am shaming him for dressing like a nerd.

Oh wow, you’re on here. I feel a bit verklempt.

*I* wanted to hug them and I was sitting across from them! They were legitimately so upset. It was unreal. Restored my faith in humanity. And bros.

i know. bless them for their reactions and apologies. part of me wishes the douchers who sent these tweets were the ones who would have to read them aloud to these women’s faces, but not sure if that’s even plausible, or safe, or if it would do any good.

I applaud these women for trying to do something to combat the insane blowback to women in sports journalism. I feel awful for the dudes who have to read these, since it almost makes them look like the losers who actually typed those things.

He moved to that island that Andy Kaufman and Elvis bought.

I wonder what kind of sucker that was? I think probably strawberry cheesecake? Or strawberry and cream. I DONT KNOW. What do you guys think?