Don't.

The victim blaming on this post is staggering. As someone divorced after a year and a half, I can say this: you don't have a reference point as to what normal is or isn't, and you can chalk up a lot of conflicts as the stress of planning a wedding or whatever. It's also rude and naive to assume that the author just…

You don't need background. The blog post is about how to talk about divorce. It's none of your business why.

I have a friend that is rounding the corner on almost a year of her divorce-iversary... He left her on fucking valentines day like the scumbag asshole he is. I try to be supportive, when I can, but she hopped from that failing marriage to a completely improbably rebound relationship that has consumed all of her time,…

correct. you don't understand.

I got divorced after one month. We were together four years, we lived together, we did everything right. Unfortunately after the ring went on he decided to get mean. Really mean. And when he hit me, I left, and it was embarrassing, and painful and still one of the best choices that I ever made.

Re #3: You're right. My marriage failed because my partner stopped putting in the effort. A week after our wedding, he told me that he only married me so I would support him and he'd never have to work again. He refused to attend marriage counseling. He refused to help with bills or housework. According to him, our…

I think you have a different case. Like, you would be there more if you could but you really just can't right now, rather than you won't be there because the whole situation freaks you out. When I got divorced, mostly what I wanted was people to act normal around me, be cool, hang out, don't be awkward or assume I…

In my experience, people who leave marriages that quickly either experience a very fast paradigm shift of some kind (traumatic event, big financial change, etc.) and/or the wedding occurred during the period when the relationship was initially/not-so-initially falling apart, but there was too much momentum.

You are part of the problem. Stop it.

I wish I'd had the experience of divorcing the schmuck in my 20s instead of doing it in my 40s. I would have not had the years of hell in between.

Not to excuse crappy friends who treated you poorly in any way, but just to shed some light on what may have been going on over on the other side of those awkward silences and distanced conversations — I'm 25 and I have been STRUGGLING for the last few years. I make no money, I hate my job, and am trapped by student…

I was married at 22, divorced by 24 (I wrote 25 in another reply, sorry it was right around my birthday) and I will be remarried at 28. And oh my lord, I am getting some reallll awkward comments from people, and so much side-eye. But it's not the people that really know me.

I really appreciate your deconstruction of all the "What NOT to say" posts that clutter up the internet. This is the first time I've seen someone point out that if we follow all that "advice" to the letter, we end up saying nothing at all.

When I was going through my divorce at 25 (married at 22), the single best thing anyone said to me was said to me by my pastor: when you go through a divorce, you go through a period of mourning. You're mourning something that you thought would be in your life until you died, and for whatever reason, it's no longer…

As someone who was divorced at 27, this sounds about right and I'm grateful to hear someone else's experience. Also challenging: rebuilding friend networks. Living in DC, I had hoped that finding friends would be easier than it has been...

A divorce is not really different from breaking up — two (usually) people dissolve a relationship. In one case there's paperwork and some legal shit with which to deal. People need to get over their idealised views of marriage and stop giving divorcees a hard time. What the fuck, society.

One of my best friends has recently (and unexpectedly) come out of an eight year relationship.. they weren't married, but they do jointly own their home. I can't see why, if she had been married, our reaction as her friends would have been any different. Break ups suck, regardless of the legal status of the…

It's astonishing how judgmental people become when they hear you're getting divorced: You didn't try hard enough; you should have gone to a different marriage counselor; this is just a rough patch; how can you give up so easily?; those vows must not have meant anything to you! ... As if the splitting parties aren't…

I know those feelings - they really do linger. I'm so glad if this resonated, and I hope that every day things are getting easier. You did the right thing. xo