“I forgot to bring the appetizer that I promised to your potluck ” is an “OK, she’s human” moment.

Unfortunately, for the trendsetters, it can’t be about the results. It’s about the action. You did everything you could do to make the Peace Corp, and the government of Burkina Faso look at your case. It was miserable because it was first.

It will be a little easier for the second, who will make it easier for the…

Oooh! Baby do you know what thats worth?

I was being bullied by a girl in my class in grade 8. She sent me a threatening note, in class, saying she was going to beat me up after school. I pulled out my red pen, marked it for spelling and grammar, gave her a giant D+. and sent it all the way back up the row .... open, so everyone could see it.

So lame because you tried to pass it off as something you were witnessing / experiencing in the first person.

Golden. 24K Pure Gold.

I hope you replayed that moment over and over in your head while you listened to “Circle in the Sand.” Excellent work, A+.

I wish an ugly cop would have pulled over the drunk dude who ended up plowing into the cab that my friend and her husband were in, killing her and the cab driver and maiming the husband for life.

Yeah I’ve already heard this before. Next time don’t cheat!

It’s truly the tape that pulls this whole story together. I love you.

The humour wasn’t “lost” on anyone, it simply wasn’t funny. You were arrested for drunk driving and called the cop who arrested you ugly. Uh, good burn?

Also, that cop probably saved your life, given you were drunk driving. You put yourself and everyone else on the road at risk. That’s not being “young and arrogant,”…

Yeah, this story is older than dirt, but still pretty funny.

You didn’t “burn” the cop by any stretch of the imagination, and you didn’t use it “perfectly” in context. He wasn’t making some insult to which you gave a witty comeback, you were just a drunk asshole he was stopping from killing anyone else.

I first heard this story as a joke years ago... maybe your agent did too? (Edit: all the way at the bottom of the Snopes page)

1) Stolen from Winston Churchill

This story has been passed around for a looooong time. I applaud your sense of humor, but I don't think this happened to you IRL.

I just remembered a great one! Last month, my friend - who is the chillest, least confrontational, most mild-mannered person in the whole world - was visiting Israel and he ran into some German lady who was like, “Why can’t there just be peace?” My friend was all, “Yeah, totally” (my friend and I are both Jewish but…

Fairly recently me, my siblings and my parents were sitting around and in a sign of how we can now all talk like adults we were sort of telling “The most fucked up I’ve ever been” stories and my sister, who had a bit of a wild adolescence, tells a pretty horrific story. My mother, who was the least enthusiastic about…

I realize that many folks think “McMansion” means “big house that I think is ugly,” but the term more correctly refers to being mass-produced using techniques designed to imitate fine craftsmanship. While the Giudice mansion may be crass and probably is shoddily built, nothing that big is a standardized product, not…