I was hanging out with a friend once basically for the whole afternoon when all of a sudden she says "I should probably get going, I have a sweet potato in the oven."

Worst excuse:

Oh lol. I was crippingly shy as a teenager, so much that a teacher once thought I was mute - and since I was too shy to tell him I wasn't, I played along for the whole year. I don't know if he ever realised...

This is true in California, or at least used to be. I was in traffic school, and about halfway through a guy started shouting "This is absurd! It's all about driving! I don't even have a driver's license! I got a ticket riding my god damn bike!"

I understand.

no she didn't

My friend and I once smoked a joint in his parents' kitchen after school. His mother came home and remarked about the strange smell.

I knew a guy in college who never went to this one class. Around the time the midterm is coming up, he goes to his section. At the end, he asks the TA when the midterm is again. She says, "Tu..." and he's thinking "Tuesday," but what actually comes out is "Two o'clock."

He and his friend have done no reading and gone…

I don't know if this counts, because the excuse was also completely true, but:

lol wrestling

I'm a heavy sleeper so I think the excuse was rooted in my fear of that really happening. I also love a good decorative pillow, so the danger is real.

Not so much a specific excuse, but throughout my working life, I have been amazed at how often the same people would be sick on Fridays and/or Mondays over and over and somehow think people didn't know they were skiving off.

I am totally stealing this for everything.

Well, they say it's best to catch it early.

this is one I actually used. I was five years old, playing with my cousins at my Babcia's house. She was making dinner and was a terrible cook. When she called us in for dinner, I told her I couldn't eat because I was sick. She asked what was wrong, and I told her it was prostate cancer.

"Iraq has weapons of mass destruction."

A kid who was late to my class once said that he was helping someone out of a burning building. I laughed and told him to take a seat. You have to begrudgingly admire someone with the chutzpah to try to pull off such a dumb and blatantly made up excuse.

Oh, god, those idiots. I got hit by one of them who didn't see the red light because she was looking for a hamburger joint in another town. If I hadn't waited a moment after I got the green, she would have killed me. As it was, she did $9K damage to my car and I just had some pretty bad bruising.

When I was in eleventh grade, my depression was getting out of control. I was actually about two months away from a suicide attempt, but obviously didn't know that yet. I was taking chemistry with an evil teacher who clearly hated students and was just waiting for full pension. He was a bully to his students and I…

My brother and his (then) wife were already in town for our wedding. They were staying in the same hotel as my parents and my sister and all the other wedding guests. Come the wedding, though, they were a no-show and had checked out of the hotel. Asked for an explanation, he said "I forgot where the wedding was taking…