I about burst a blood vessel trying to read this and not laugh out loud in my office.

Look for my coming illustrated story book for man children, Is Your Mack Whack? Get It Back On Track.

Haha. Petition to Get the Mack On Track.

I'm so glad this story had a happy ending! They're adorable too!

"we're parents!" - cool

~reads headline~

I imagine moms are too busy doing the majority if second shift work.

2 years! Mine never last past the first sharpening. I wish somebody would teach me how to sharpen lip pencils / eye liners. Everytime I do it they crack and splinter all to hell and are basically rendered useless.

What a little shit! Oh, I would cut her all right.

Audrey Tautou is throwing out some "Amy Sedaris as Jerri Blank "vibes here.

She definitely made that shit up, no way would they cast her as Asha/Yara. Why would they even consider it? Has she even done any acting? She doesn't fit the role at all and the show never needed celebrity cameos to get ratings.

I just texted that to my mom with "belated Mother's Day present"

I think the joke there is that it looks like an anus.

Dream job!

Hold up - is that picture the new double pepperoni bacon pizza from Papa John's? 'Cause that shit needs to GET INSIDE MY MOUTH.

Agreed. I have a well-paying professional job in an office setting. I make good money. I'm well respected by my colleagues and valued by my bosses. And I work only the 40 hours a week required of me.

Blue Moon and margaritas??? This party sucks.

Finally, an answer to the question that nobody asked!