I don't get twitter fights! They remind me of junior high bullshit where you would go on AIM under an assumed screen name, hurl an insult at someone then sign off or block them so they couldnt respond.

It's from Kanye's "Look At Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" line.

.... is she just wearing body shapers? Has this what it's come down to? jfc.

Yup, that's what bodies do after you've had two babies and lived for 40+ years. The fucked-up part is that airbrushing is so routine that we don' t know what mature women are supposed to look like.

I think Grey should be spelled Gray….hey, its America after all

Happy for her, sad for all the racist bullshit it spawned on my Facebook feed.

Aw, this is fabulous! I hope she gets herself something nice too, because honestly—was she chosen as a POSTER CHILD for cliche, shitty jobs? Like, she works at McDonalds: ok. She works at Walmart: ok.

BUT BOTH?

Girl. You deserve every cent of that. Every GD cent.

I love milk. I've never had cramps, bloating or the shits from it. Have drunk skim or one percent from childhood. And I don't drink coffee, tea or alcohol so FUCK THE HATERS.

No other species has fully-formed sentience, either, which isn't a terribly good excuse to stop using our brains to get on their level. I fart on this article.

WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE? I need them in my life. BTW I'm pregnant.

Counterpoint: Milk is delicious.

So proud that we have someone who is both a doctor and a judge on staff.

A dude once asked (DURING sex) if his ween was the biggest I've ever seen. He was so confident that the answer was yes. It was not.

:\

Orange make up and light purple lips are soooo 2002.

Should we make a "How long until Amber Heard files for divorce" Jezebel pool?

Also, dear tabloids, re: RihCaprio:

Way to go Amber Heard!

"I haven't kissed a boy in forever," Meghan Trainor tells Seventeen. [ONTD]