Eh, I'm not—but thanks for the warm greeting, ShortestStraw!

The (bottle) red-head hasn't done theater since childhood,

No. I was saying I've never heard "'Religion is just a bunch of pedophiles trying to control your life with a bunch of lies' or words to that effect"

Hrrmmm. Not sure I've ever heard that.

Or a school teacher

yep

The door guy at the bar down the street from me has a serious 1994 Dave Navarro vibe, and I'm totalllly ok with it. Altho I am not ok with that face mask Dave has on in that photo :c

I dunno if you were joking or serious, but here you are

put old bay on corn on the cob for the first time ever today and I don't know what I've been doing with my life.

...who is shane?

uh ok lol

Nah, I don't use Reddit anymore because (in what will certainly sound like a "I used it before it was cool" excuse but I don't mean for it to ) I just... don't think it's interesting anymore.

Ugh alright ready, I understand that some stories come from Reddit and they're interesting— but I mean that doesn't mean you can't find other stories elsewhere. For the record - Mark seems to do this WAY more than anyone else and it just seems lazy.

YASSSS. I youtubed the video recently to show my bf, who had never heard the song, and there were way more butts than I remembered as a youth.

AHHH ! what if he's the Reddit troll and his wife is the pregnant lady?!

Oh I know. Something's got to give. The real depressing part of it - we've been together so long, I think the idea of not being together is terrifying. We are seriously working on what we've identified to be our issues— because when things are good, they're amazing.

Ugh I wish my relationship would work like that. I am very open and upfront and have no problem speaking up if I have a problem ( that sounds way bitchier and whinier than I really am, I swear ) but my BF is so passive-aggressive that when we have fights HOO LAWDY hold onto your hats.

I worked there during the holidays when I was a freshman in college and some crazy came and ranted at me about child labor and how the Gap is such a terrible company and unethical and I was like "okay can I finish folding this sweater now thanks"

Well - if the interview by Cosmo is to be trusted - it sounds as though she offered it up without even being asked.

I have a friend who is a costume designer on her tour and she posts cryptic Instagram pics every now and then — I saw one this weekend saying Katy was being inducted into a secret society and dummy me was like "wait, like Skull and Bones?" I was very confused why she would be in a secret society with William Howard…