Hrmm. Well, good to know that when it comes to knowing things about Martha Stewart, being a member of the media gets you just as far as it does us normies reading a tabloid on the couch? ;)

Dude - check out FoodGawker.com.

I guess the charges were dropped in court, although I just read this:

Oh I did - I still just don't get it. I mean, I get the same effect when I use the wrong shade of brow pencil or don't fill them in well enough.

Re: American Horror Story cast :

I am always confused by this. Why draw eyebrows on when they look this unnatural? I mean, I understand not all makeup is supposed to look natural ( I say this as someone who has worn cat-eye eyeliner daily for years) but am I missing something here? I don't understand using a brow pencil or powder that doesn't match…

I've fucked some of the hottest women on this planet

Miley reminds me of one of my friends when we were 20-23. Yea, looking back some of the stuff we did was dumb, but we had fun!

Ahahaha - both my sisters are married, too - which puts me in the position of receiving all my mom's best intentions. My mom also has said that she's bummed my best friend is gay because he and I get along so well and always have the best time. Sorry, mama.

My mom is the SAME WAY. She is upset that my bf and I aren't married yet and has decided that if she just finds the RIGHT GUY I'll leave my bf and marry whatever dude she finds. Most recently this meant she saw a male friend wrote on my FB wall and she thought it was SO CUTE and she had to know who he was because "I…

Ugh - I quit drinking a little over a year ago and have lost some weight due to not drinking + eating a little healthier. Anyway - I was at a family gathering when my sister's in-laws ( who are SO WEIRD. Really awkward and go out of their way to make people uncomfortable) that I'd met ONCE made a point to gush over…

Oh god I'm glad I read that twice because at first I thought it was the funeral director asking out your 16 year old mother. .__.

For my birthday gift this year I picked out a new kitty from the Anti Cruelty Society here in Chicago. She is the sweetest baby in the WORLD. She loves to cuddle and has the squeakiest little meows. But when I was basically signing the paperwork the volunteers at the shelter casually mentioned that she had been…

I had an obnoxious roommate who had an ugly Thomas Kinkade painting —PREEETTY sure it was a knock off, which makes it funnier. But the best part was that she was SO proud of it and she'd get drunk and tell everyone really loudly that it was a Thomas Kinkade, and that he was known for peeing in his own mouth. or…