Sure, typical Deadspin bullshit. Embiid dunks on a dude in a park and he’s a fucking hero.
Meanwhile, Richie Incognito attempts to tackle a dude at 24hour Fitness and he’s, “Mentally unstable.”

Fucking calculus solves the problem, dude.

To Barry’s credit, this is by far the worst season in the history of the franchise, so he was at least right about that.

It must be such a relief for all those lifelong Las Vegas Knights fans to dunk on all the haters and doubters. God knows they’ve had to endure so much!

What the hell? You don’t pay close attention to baseball for a few summers and suddenly Robinson Cano is 35.

The guy who loses his shirt is going to have a hard time explaining this to his kids—but only because they haven’t returned his calls for two years.

“We will stop this tournament right now! We are adults, and this is ridiculous. It is a cornhole tournament fundraiser.”

we get it, Mr. Jordan, you’re trying to protect your legacy. now get off Deadspin and go back to gambling on the golf course.

Better rule: If you hit the ball over the fence, we loosen up the laws regarding the basepaths. Touch them all and you’re fine. You want to hold hands and cross the bases together, go right ahead. You want to get into a footrace with the dumptruck on first base, feel free. Nobody really cares. The ball cleared the…

Ah the old octuple-bogey, a good friend of mine.

I bet after ball #4, Sergio was thinking about screaming “Dilly Dilly” so security would come and escort him off the course.

“Boban not ‘take’ ball. Boban care for ball and raise her right.”

The only thing worse than an adult man that brings a glove to a baseball game is an adult man that brings a glove to a baseball game and doesn’t know how to operate a baseball glove.

Herm the germ, love this guy. He’s got the gumption he’s got the spirit. Get down there in the dirt and roll baby! Wired, fired, inspired my man. Don’t question him hoo boy. He’ll whip you up a sprint sandwich in no time. Hell, he’ll run the stadiums with you and you are going to move son. He. Is. Football.

Man, motherfuck baseball, sometimes.

I can’t believe no one mentioned Hormel® Black Label® bacon or Duracell batteries.

I missed the end of the game. At the final buzzer did Grayson Allen shriek and transform into a flock of blackbirds?

Even when he does hit Kennedy’s fingers, there’s no lasting damage, since he never hits the same place twice.

a mentalist (just a made-up term for a magician)

C’mon, Buffalo, how about letting some other city get some sports good fortune every now and then?