This man needs two things:

This is a man who makes a living providing advice about fake football getting mad and yelling at the Arizona Cardinals Twitter account on his ESPN podcast. That’s a lot. Also, I now wish I had picked up Edmonds for this past week.

i have not thought through the monetary repercussions of my action

Ah whoops, them too. Thank you for adding more information to this breaking news story.

Endorsements help educate consumers, and sham endorsements short circuit that process. For example, I was once a State Farm customer, because family is important to me and it came through how important family was to the Paul twins (Chris and Cliff). But I switched to Nationwide because I value creativity, and the…

Nobody cares about your Fantasy team, Gabe.

Gardner Minshew looks like a guy who struts, or at least saunters.

So that’s where he ended up.

I believe the thinking goes that when you spill gumbo on them, it only shows on half of it.

“That fan’s conduct was a perfectly reasonable reaction to the obviously threatening behavior by #26.”

Tough shit for those guys. As the Browns, aka the future of the NFL, have shown, this is just the most surefire way to unbridled success in the NFL!

“Dolphins head coach Brian Flores declared on Friday, ‘I have a good team.’”

“Adam Gase had a chance to set the tone for the Jets’ season.”

Everyone involved in this saga on both the Steelers and the Raiders feels like a character in a Christopher Guest movie.

And like that, the laughs of a million Steelers fans were suddenly silenced.

Also, fractional leads are better than whole number leads. Best of all are transcendental leads such as pi, because when you have a pi lead, the other team can’t tie the game, because when they attempt to score pi runs, they only get halfway around the bases.

Same reason I always order a shot with my beer. Can't get drunk on whiskey if you're buying beer. It's just math. 

I don’t know, when was football invented, 1869? Since then.

Solid technique. Good form. He’s ready to come off IR

“I haven’t felt normal in a long time. I don’t [remember] normal. I’m not saying that I feel bad. You think the way you feel is normal, and it’s not. I can be better than this. If I get to the goal that I set, I’ll be behind the plate.”