Keep Pounding is the lamest team rallying cry ever. To add to the “Why the Panthers Suck” list.

I can’t read the thing because I don’t want to give Lena Dunham my email. But I wonder if the audio would sound better? Kind of seems like two comedians riffing, but it looks really crappy in writing.

I feel like this happens from time to time with a bunt. But coming off a full swing like that is a new one.

pretty awesome of him to want to also solve the mess in brazil, which is also in our hemisphere

If casualties of war and just your everyday American gun violence count under “fire,” that has to bump it to the top. However, if you count water borne illnesses like cholera, then you probably keep the order the same.

one of my few simple rules in life: people who go out in public wearing plain white t-shirts are garbage

he could not hit anyone because those lanes exist only to waste space. but it is surely another example of how sports people think that whatever useless mission they are on is more important than everything else.

That’s cool. You are scared of becoming a Nicholas Cage movie character.

MMA-ers have to be higher, right? Just for wearing those damn Affliction shirts or whatever bullshit death font crap they wear now.

Wait...is this a fear that the fact turns out to be true and no one believes it? Or you are scared that you are going to go insane one day? Because the first one is a pretty cool fear to have.

Are there are college football fans that are surprisingly un-awful?

Are the Olympic ping pong players the most OCD athletes on earth? They all seem to touch the table weirdly after every point and do obsessive, twitchy stuff a lot. From my limited viewing sample size.

This is nothing. Wait until the soccer fields in Qatar 2022 grow red from the blood of all the enslaved workers. Maybe then a corporate sponsor or two will drop one of these events.

Little kids take accidental dumps in my club’s pool like 10 times per summer. But somehow a bunch of underpaid teenagers, in between bong breaks probably, manage to keep the pool from becoming infested with algae and bacteria. Nice work, Brazil.

“he’s starting to think about security.” Uh. The guy has made half a billion dollars in his life. Seems secure.

you don’t get to write your food book, and penn holderness does “all about that baste.” the world is truly a cruel place.

“there is no bacteria in the pool and we elected NOT to test for viruses" — olympics water quality monitors, probably

i need that umpire to moderate my next family gathering. he looked like the dad, chilling everyone out with promises of ice cream later.

the sad part is seeing the next generation of goober children. it’s like the opening of idiocracy

he sounds like a guy who would spend eight days in a basement watching UFC with Adam LaRoche while teaching Drake about all the newest prepper gear.