Except it won’t because Elon Musk won’t make it work. His skills are big ideas and complex financial schemes that get propped up by taxpayers.

i would very much like to read the deadspin style guide. fuck you, associated press.

And, lo, I come bearing football. I bring it down from on high. My trusty lions are here to negotiate with your elected officials about proper compensation for my bounteous contribution to your culture.

+100

try ordering whiskey “with a little bit of water.” every single bartender will put whiskey over a shitload of ice and then pour water in it. it’s enough to make you go wild boar on their asses.

so has communist money infiltrated jason whitlock? he is part of the american media. where has it infiltrated him? there are many possibilities.

let’s give a respectful nod to sports sister, who seemed to bear the emotional rollercoaster with patience and class

i hosted a bullshit office awards show once. it was fucking hard and totally thankless. kudos to the guys who had to run this thing that your co-workers are shitting on to their significant others RIGHT THIS SECOND.

they continued the tradition of football guys thinking their world is so very important, LIKE THE MILITARY, that they could simply will a cultural change into existence

i never thought combining unruly fans, motorcycles and bicycles could lead to such catastrophe

let us rejoice and marvel at the sight of someone in a yankees hat being awesome. i mean, holy crap. a KID in a yankees cap was more mature than a full grown adult who was not in a yankees cap. maybe the world is going to be ok.

“Wrigglesworth! Get out there and tell them about how this guy assaulted somebody’s balls.”

i have not been this shocked since Dale (the hero!) died when he crashed his fast car into a wall.

the pass at the end of that clip was pretty hot too

Can we find better words than “sacrifice” and “security” for these situations? Wade did not “sacrifice.” Maybe “he gave up chances to become even wealthier.” He has the security of $150 million in career earnings just from the court. What he wants is more money. That is all, and that is fine. What he wanted before was…

wait...were you advocating better fan behavior via a "human shield" incentive?

come over to the side of not liking any team in particular....just enjoy the show....dump your “favorite” team.....all of this will seem no different than brad pitt signing a movie deal....come with me....it is lovely and serene.

people who hate ballhawking also seem to care about this game’s balls a whole fucking lot more than zack hample did, even.

this is very hard to judge without knowing just how seriously this individual is taking himself. please get the local correspondent on the case.

and the employers themselves set up the system to encourage additional player movement. the super-duper rich guys absolutely wanted to make it easier for fan favorites to leave town as often as possible.