I Have Nothing Cynical To Say About Homestar Runner, Internet!

I think we can all agree chili just isn't chili without the savory kick of HORMEL BRAND BLACK LABEL CHILI, now with an easy to use Pop-Top lid for dads on the go! Pick some up today! You fucking sellout hacks!

I tried watching Full Frontal but couldn't get over Sam Bee's constant leaning to the side, as if her legs were cemented to the floor and the camera's slightly off to her right.

I ONLY WISH TO TELL THE TRUTH AND SPREAD IT ON THE INTERNET.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I mean lol. . .typical Hillbot libtrad. . .educate urself. . .hellary can teleport. . .she watches me p. . .

These people are so fucking dumb they will literally say "Trump is ahead in the polls, which are rigged, so be sure to vote in the election, which is also rigged" and honestly think they just expressed a complete thought.

Toward the end of college I developed a serious drinking problem and when I tried to quit cold turkey, I had a seizure while driving due to withdrawal and wrecked my car as well as several others. I was sued into oblivion and forced to move from LA, where I a sitcom my friends and I were working on was being seriously…

crooked hillary is so corrupt. . .she is the bride of chucky. . .crooked hillary used voodoo to put her body inside a doll. . .don't be fooled , we all know how hot she is but her erotic surface is only due to corrupt magic

Kevin Pang's obituary will just be a list of all the wonderful sponsored content he wrote throughout his life, followed by "Thank God, we really needed that."

On his deathbed, Kevin Pang will smash a snowglobe and whisper HORMEL BLACK LABEL ALL NATURAL BEEF PRODUCT, but no one will hear it because he will die alone.

I would shoot him like Jaws in the movie Jaws and we'd be playing the music but instead of a fin coming out of the water it would be hair.

Yep.

Bacon is a good food I wish people would shut the fuck up about.

donald has some interesting thoughts on the native inuit too

hooray no one got raped

These sponsored Food Club posts are really getting out of hand.

I'm still trying to understand what I'm supposed to be outraged about.

No, it was actually fairly even-handed compared to the 400 other identical fucking articles posted today acting like they discovered his Klan robes.

Name one bad thing about Donald Trump.