"Amuse Our Bouche is The A.V. Club’s column that answers your burning, boiling, and flambéed food questions."

"SG: I’m a purist when it comes to eating bacon. I like it on its own. Sometimes it goes a bit too far—I’ve not yet experienced Wendy’s Baconator."

I want to punch a "bacon critic" is his goddamn kidneys

For the love of god, let this tired goddamned bacon meme die already. You might as well still be making Chuck Norris jokes. Haha bacon is amazing and heavenly let's "ironically" put it on everything and then "ironically" create sponsored content about how Jimmy Dean is "ironically" paying us to write about its…

I'm going to make eight fucking posts about how much I hate this article

Fuck you for enabling this.

"Area Family Has Fight During Holiday and/or Vacation"

uproxx has developed an entire cottage industry around essays pretending that Taco Bell's latest abomination involving Cheetohs, Doritos, and Mountain Dew is just harmless "drunk food" that normal people indulge in occasionally (four times a week).

Don't encourage this.

There is one writer on Clickhole that has gotten surrealism down to a science.

LET ME TELL YOU HOW I MARRIED TO ALL THE FISH

The Onion is just aggressively depressing now. Pretty much every headline is some variation on "The economy is in tatters, all human relationships are fragile and perpetually on the cusp of collapse, and life is a mercifully brief slog towards death. Messin w/ Sasqatch."

What would a first-rate parody website be?

Most importantly: Will this Joker be true to his roots and be constantly mailing people things

ALL THE GUNS USED IN AMERICAN MASS SHOOTINGS, RANKED

Like the fact that I can form opinions without consulting my genitals?

I don't understand. What does this have to do with ranking 7-11 Slurpees?

As a rule, any person who is so adamant about reminding you what an exceptional, fascinating person they are that they base their lives around doing so are neither exceptional nor fascinating.

More than anything else I find the entire field of gender studies outside of a neutral, third-party sociological surveys (i.e. objectively examining the impact gender has on individuals and their relationships with the world and its various instiutions) to be unbearably tedious and solipsistic, full of humorless,…

The true mark of progress is when you can treat individual members of a politically disenfranchised minority like the assholes they truly are.