There is no intellectually valid argument to make in favor of Trump. He is not running a campaign of facts, he is running a campaign of feelings. It's like if a cereal box had a cartoon wrestler for a mascot made putting bad guys in a rolling DDT, and then demanded you explain all the things wrong with that.

*holds up a mirror, traps Darcy Lewis back in Bizarro Land*

"Why?"

Sit on couch, stand up, turn around, walk to window, continue speaking

It's like poetry, it rhymes.

"He was pretty gullible, too. One time he had a nightmare your perfectly healthy mom would die in childbirth, so he ran out to meet a wizard that claimed to once know a guy who could maybe raise the dead, and that he would teach your dad his secrets if he killed Samuel L. Jackson and a kindergarten class."

Red Letter Media's Resident Evil marathon was genuinely hilarious.

At one point they'll need to quickly rappel down a building and Slipknot will be like FINALLY. ALRIGHT GUYS but by then Will Smith will have already rigged the pulley.

"But…but I kept mailing people things! Just like the Joker would've!"

"Also, please enjoy my remaining two days as Generic White Conservative With Steve Martin Hair before everyone finds out how crazy I am."

No, because it's a jarring tonal shift that is influenced exclusively by fanservice. You can't take a simple kid's movie and then suddenly add all these layers of dark, complicated politics from unrelated mediums just because Marketing found out that nerds and autists will pay out the ass to know the name of the guy…

Ohh, the essays Internet film critics will write against imaginary opponents.

Yeah, I figured it would take 76 seconds to find him saying something awful about bathrooms, but I wanted to enjoy my day off just seeing him as Generic White Guy.

I wish Red Letter Media would re-edit that speech where a petrified Chris Christie stood behind Trump so the camera is constantly zooming in on his face while the Price Is Right trombone plays forever.

I knew that I didn't need to hunt for horrible/bewildering/offensive things Mike Pence has said, because while the initial response was "Oh look, Trump went with a Generic White Conservative instead of Sad Trombone Christie", I fucking knew within a week we'd get something weird from his past.

Remember when Star Wars was the simple story of a farm boy who dreamed of adventure and left home to become a great hero who overcame temptation to defeat an evil empire? The thousands of sequels, spinoffs, comics, video games, and novels that feel the need to elaborate how toilets on the Death Star eliminated waste…

Don't forget including the word "choice".

Inspiration naturally arises from external sources, so there's nothing wrong with being influenced by samurai movies or westerns or whathaveyou. The problem is that, rather than introduce new ideas through telling an organic story with a coherent beginning, middle, and end, Star Wars intentionally bloated itself in…

It's like poetry, it rhymes.

"Uninspired" has been the raison d'etre of Star Wars for 40 years. There is no inspiration left. There are no new ideas. It's just a corpse people keep fucking for money because dumb people like the glowstick waving.