CUT! Cut, cut. Your line is “golfer.” Start again, from the top.

Just wait until mom tells him about the time she ate cock on van.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

Ken M.?

Jerry Jones: [browses article] Hmm, this Howard guy makes a good point. Hey, Jason, let’s put Greg on offense!

Fuck Cancer

Good read, Tom. It rivals your expose of “This is a Panda Doing the Nae-Nae”.

a) You probably don’t ride. Believe me, there are plenty of places that are unsafe for a car to pass where it’s no problem for a bike (either due to the bike being able to do the pass or simply because of things like better sightlines due to lane positioning etc). So it comes down to The Law vs. common sense, being…

BARBER: Really? Again??

Try selling a t-shirt with a college player’s likeness and you’ll be immediately sued. How, exactly, have schools and the NCAA not stopped daily fantasy based simply on that? These companies are quite clearly using athletes’ names in commerce.

so it begins...

SCOTT NORWOOD HAS A NAME!!

True story: Life as a Loser, because it was published by a tiny publishing house that’s now out of business, was once, like, 46 bucks on Amazon. Then, one day, they all dropped to about three bucks. I found out later it was because my dad saw the Amazon market and sold a bunch of the 100 or so of them I had been…

@BillSimmons

So stay off social media today, gotcha.

“Feel Like Bacon Love”

Definitely Not Miss Piggy