No, but the waffles do.

If it’s any kind of clue, he doesn’t usually wear underwear.

Next time I see him do it, I will!

My husband manspreads like whoa. He only rides public transportation when we’re together traveling, so I encourage him to sit in a corner and I let him knee me instead of strangers. I have no idea why he does it, but he always does.

If this was in my house, the hair tie might have been dragged into the cat box at one point, then dragged back out again. They’re locked up now - tied up with one of those velcro cable ties - but I’m sure I wore a few gross ones before I figured it out.

If you had a yeast infection while you were breastfeeding, you could make a grilled cheese sandwich.

The War on Christmas starts earlier every year. I miss the good old days when retailers didn’t start oppressing Christians until the day after Thanksgiving.

Holy shit I thought you were talking about Trump for a minute and I was all HOW CAN YOU EVEN BE SARCASTIC ABOUT TRUMP’S HOTNESS BARF.

Have you heard of this book? The author is a right-wing Christian who argues the exact opposite. It might give you some ammunition. (I’m an atheist lefty and I loved it.)

Dessert.

.

No.

I adore cocktail sauce on sweet potato fries. *waves at fellow vegetarian*

True story: HK and Jean Teasdale are the same person.

Pat looks more like Gollum every day.

FINE. I’ll just drink vinho verde. Lots and lots of vinho verde. And maybe some vodka.

I’m listening to this

I feel that way about SXSW every year.

The shorter brother is always the cuter brother.

There is no center.

(When I was a kid, I did count how many for a Tootsie Pop. The answer was 2012.)