i’m gonna start including this in europa stories, i feel like such a dolt for always leaving it out

Sure. Because there was some form of life already there. The plan of the Monolith was to nudge it along into an intelligent species, like it had to humans. The warning was to keep humans away,  so we wouldn't interfere. 

This comment was... something wonderful.

I don’t think my family will care as long as I continue to bring home the bacon. It’ll be just an agreed-upon thing that I’ll accept their clones as the real-deal as long as they accept mine...

yep. and if souls are real, Captain Kirk launched his own personal invasion of the Afterlife. No hot alien females left for anyone!

That’s backwards. They are buying all of the equipment so that they can make their own coffee instead of relying on Starbucks.

I wanted him to win over Robin Hood so much. He was amazing and stole the movie.

He who controls the spice controls the UNIVERSE!!!

Sorry, did I scare you? Have a marshmallow.

There must be something about alkaline water, for it to have pickled the common sense out of so many brains.

*vanishes into a puff of logic*

Plot twist: in the neolithic era, hipsters were the ones without beard.

PALEO butter, the only kind of butter a caveman would use.

Creating a nuclear rocket on a pole would only change our inclination, which would have very little effect to our orbit. And even with all of the existing nuclear weapons in one blast, there is not enough energy to make a measurable change to our orbit. You can be sure it would affect the weather, though.

Sabritas comenzó a vender bolsas de papas fritas...

He’s a tape recording of Shkreli farting through a walkie-talkie.

I went googling for a Dumbo Bambie hybrid expecting the internet to fail me... I give you the glory that is Dumbie.

More of a recording of Shkreli that you recorded off the radio, so there’s a bit of a radio DJ chatter at the beginning and a fade-in to another song at the end.

are you new here 

Challenge accepted. I triple dog dare them to watch what I watch, and watch what I do when I watch what I watch.