My wedding trick? Ballgown skirt, pushup bra. Everything is so outrageously curvy that my waist looks positively tiny. Otherwise, nerves will either add or subtract 5 lbs. by the wedding next Friday.

Since my size 14/16 ass isn't going to fit into any of this in the near future, I'll just sigh over the pretty.

I've always had a lot more guy friends than girl friends- I don't know if it's because all of the high school female drama turned me off, or if it was all of the college drama that did it, but guys have always been more straightforward, I've only been dumped once by a guy because he had a new girlfriend (as opposed to…

@seresy: Quidditch captain. Harry Potter. I just thought I'd clarify that before I looked completely off topic here...

The kid who played Wood (first film) made me feel like a dirty old woman. Then I checked him on imdb, and he was over age. Crisis averted.

My neighbor is a prostitute, and she's been really open to my questions and desire to understand how it works. She works for a woman-owned brothel that takes clients on an appointment-only basis, she's tested regularly, all clients are required to use condoms, she pays taxes and gets medical insurance and a pension…

@Candyboots: That's EXACTLY what I was thinking!

@tetragami: I had to read the article to double check after the math thing, or it really wouldn't be anything to brag about :)

I can almost get behind the leggings, but those shiny things she's been wearing? Are Spandex. Some things were abominations the first time around and Don't. Need. Revived.

@tetragami: Nah. He started the course in 2004, so it's 5 successful relationships and losing his virginity 6 months ago in probably 3.5 years.

Aretha needs to tone the ego down just a little bit. Yes, she's awesome, but she's not the only awesome person to have come out of the music business. Share a little!

@bigleggedwoman: My late 70s vinyl lunchbox had Donnie and Marie on it. :( Laugh-In at least gets retro-cool nostalgia points.

I'm not a fan of hers (too much drama ensued before the music had the chance to grab me), but I'm really happy that she's doing well. She looks a hell of a lot better, too.

I love her, and I need those shoes.

I cry when I'm angry, when I'm frustrated, when I'm sad, or when I'm sick. I have the flu, and even though I knew my bf was working late, I cried for an hour last night because he wasn't home yet, and I was sick and needed some sympathy.

A recent conversation at the seresy house:

If someone could send the bottom row, second one to me by the end of the month in a 14, I will love them forever and ever and ever.

Yesterday, I actually heard the words "but you can totally wear it again." At least it's under $200, but I did give her some shit for uttering that phrase seriously. She's planning the 200+ person thing, and though she's having fun with it, her slow metamorphosis into a stereotypical bride is both sweet (since I'm…

I'm in Eindhoven (south-central-ish Netherlands) and Carnival is on through Tuesday. Half of the shops are closed, all of the bars are open, and I'm going to run into costumed drunk people pretty steadily until Wednesday. There's no shame, costume-wise, either, which is a lot more fun than the usual "slutty…

I had one professor who was so very, very pc that all black people were African Americans, even if they were living in Africa or Europe. And all white people were European Americans (couldn't be caucasian Americans. Had to be European). Other than that, he could be pretty cool, and his classes were always interesting,…